All N8s will ship with a specialised Finnish magnetic screwdriver, so you can take the cover off the uniblock of aluminium and replace the battery while out and about.
- Early test N8s will be sent out to testers disguised in a shell (shown right) that makes them look like old Nokia 7650s.... cunning eh? Bet no other company has thought of this....
- Carl Zeiss did not have an off-the-shelf 12 megapixel camera unit that Nokia could use. What they did have was a huge oversupply of 3.2 megapixel cameras. If you strip down the N8, you'll see that the HD-ready camera is actually four smaller cameras strapped together behind the lens, much like the lens in a fly's eye.
- Every N8 ships with a dual LED flash, apart from one unit (the one used for all the press photos and) which is custom fitted with a Xenon flash and has the name “Steve Litchfield” filled in on the FedEx documentation.
- Although a brand new OS powers the N8, Nokia have ditched the Symbian UI and decided on an alternative layer to use the device. Given the internet focus of the device, they've bought out Mobileways 'Gravity' and it's going to run everything on the device – Twitter, Facebook, email, web, RSS feeds, the works.
- Every N8 ships with “Comes with Bits”, an innovative Ovi service that allow you to fill the spare capacity of the 16GB with white noise. If you wait long enough, you'll hear something that sounds suspiciously like Brian Blessed reading Hamlet.
- Due to business demand for more connectivity options, the proximity sensor on the bezel of the N8 can double up as an IrDA port for data transfers to people with 1990s PalmPilots.
- The retail box of the N8 will have a Nokia branded Moleskine notebook to use as your To-Do list and calendar. The finance department have worked out that this is cheaper than sorting out the neutered PDA software.
- For the first time in 15 years, the standard Nokia ringtone will now be Marc-Antonie Charpentier's 'Prelude to Te Deum', and not 'Gran Vals' by Francisco Tarrega.
- To ensure the video output is suitable for all markets, the N8 will come with with an updated FM/RF transmitter that outputs both FM audio and a traditional analogue TV signal.
- The launch has been delayed not because of software considerations (although this is the cover story) but because of an impending court case from the estate of Terry Nation, as they and the BBC sue because the five colours of the N8 exactly match the new “Power Ranger Daleks” that have debuted in Doctor Who.
- To boost sales of the N8, there will be a mail-in voucher in every box that can be sent to Finland in exchange for an iPhone HD, as long as you all promise to never ever to put the two phones together in the same room. It's like matter and anti-matter you see...
- The N8 has a small compartment next to the SIM card that is timed to open once a day and dispense medication for those on a regular prescription. Gotta love this, it means I'll never miss taking the pills again... [for which we give due praise and thanks - Ed]
Of course, expectations on any device are always heightened, and not every feature makes it to the final cut. I guess we'll have to wait until Q3 to see what really is in the Nokia N8.
-- Ewan Spence, April 2010.
PS: Just to re-iterate after the comments coming in, this is a humourous piece to finish off the week that's been rather content heavy and focussed on the launch of the N8. Normal service will resume on Monday.