To get started, head over to stevelitchfield.com/grid.htm and rate how important each of a zillion factors to you in terms of what you'd expect from a great phone-hosted camera. You can apply your own weightings, though, and the page will multiply everything up and work out rankings according to your stated criteria. Cool, eh?
I'd have hosted the grid here, but it's too 'wide' for Rafe's layout!
Comments welcome, of course. Which, in your opinion, smartphone cameras need adding to this table? I can do various additions and amendments in time!
PS. I wonder if any of the DxOMark people read my criticisms (this from a couple of years ago, for example) of their methods and results. I'd be happy to chat to them about all this, of course...