I've seen many physics-based games in the last year which have clearly taken inspiration from Angry Birds, but Super Angry Soldiers has to take the biscuit as the most cynical and most disappointing. From a ridiculously pitched free trial to a complete lack of graphics acceleration, this fails on every level. Screens, comments and links below.
The premise here is that the critters are pigs alien invaders and you have a catapult cannon with which to blast them out of various positions propped up on pillars and platforms. That's... actually all you need to know.
And the screen above is the very first thing you see after the splash graphics. Five minutes. And that includes tapping past the level screens and introductions - essentially you just about get the hang of firing one cannon ball to kill one alien and then it's all over. Trial over. Time to uninstall the game, etc. It's quite simply ridiculous, as is charging £5 via your phone bill (which would have to repeated if you ever reset your phone or lost the game somehow, compared to buying the game for £3 on the Nokia Store, which is good for at least 10 re-downloads.
OK, so there are 200 levels - but you'll only see two or three in the 'trial'. At most.
That's the theory anyway - I didn't get awarded stars for any of the three levels I managed to get though... Methinks there's more playtesting needed.
The interface involves using the up/down icons to aim your cannon and a long press on the circle icon to decide the power. The graphics are fairly primitive, as you can see here.
Worst of all though, the physics are all handled by the main processor, which means that animations are jerky and slow - nothing feels fluid. We're talking game animation from 2009. Given that every Symbian smartphone since the 2010 N8 has had a full GPU which can handle this sort of thing in a heartbeat, not using it is criminal.
The bottom of screen toolbar has left/right icons for scrolling the view - that's right, there's not even any swipe/drag detection. Super Angry Birds feels like an early beta for the Nokia 5800 in 2009. The other two middle icons are to rest to the cannon view and to zoom out to see the whole scene.
Thumbs up from the game but not from me. If this was a full review, the score would be in the low 30s. And that's out of 100.