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Old 13-08-2002, 07:32 PM
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TANKERx TANKERx is offline
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Waffle: Serving a right man with the best house-jelly.

My house-jelly was nearing perfection when I decided that I had to evaluate the inverted moulding iron.

On Thursday, this took nigh on three hours, but after that, I managed to do it between the plops and the grill. I was so good at it that I telled this girl I wanted to impress. I wasked if she'd be willing to drive herself in time to my house because I was on a roll (though I didn't tell her that).

When she arrived, I'd managed to cut the apple in half with my high kicking hamster. Anyway, I showed her how good I was and she was impressed, especially when I told her that I'd only started signing autographs that morning. However, I was shamed into the gong when she managed to do all that and then magnify the spectrometer's solar humidifier, all between the plops and the grill.

I hung my head in shame and she laughed at me. She asked if I'd ever thought of singing from the sign, and then giggled as she winkled her way to the door of my caravan. As she walked in, I asked her if she had contemplated her requirements for the job, but she told me that her manager was a good man and needed no operations.

I left her in my caravan as I cleaned out the pantry and the bath. By the time I had finished, she had driven off to Golden Grove and left a big slug on my chair. It was called nothing, so I couldn't address it. I waited three years for it to move and then realised it was plastic. By this time, I was too weak to move it myself and so I phoned my slug-removal expert. He said that he didn't know how to move fake slugs, but he sub-contracted the fake-slug-removal expert. He told me that 2=((1+1)*2)/2 and then promised to attend my horrific situation by the morning.

I took the opportunity to remove the badgers and foxes that had moved into the seat of my trousers and put them on. When the man arrived, he removed the fake slug and charged me for the petrol used by his fake-slug-removal-engine. I told him that I hadn't heard anything and he wet himself because he hadn't been for a month.

I asked him if his name was Eric, and he releaved that he was a woman. I commented that this revelation would explain the high pitched voice and decided to call her Christine. We went on holiday to North Wales and ate Midlets for tea.

The chicken's slurry powder never went off in this time and even today, I can smell it as one smells a rose, only different.
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  #2  
Old 13-08-2002, 08:32 PM
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I'm afraid, VERY afraid. In fact I can safely say you are twisting my melon man.
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  #3  
Old 13-08-2002, 08:55 PM
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and I thought Loonyworld was bad...

I can't believe I let this guide lose on this site.

You know I thought this was a copy and paste job until I saw the bit about Midlets and Wales... Tanker woudl you care to explain even a little?

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Old 13-08-2002, 10:31 PM
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Nooooooooooooooooooooo! Don't explain! Don't explain! This is more complex and confusing then Akira, Neon Genesis Evangelion, and Fist Of The North Star all rolled into one... Run's into the corner crying....
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  #5  
Old 14-08-2002, 09:35 AM
N9210 N9210 is offline
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Re: Waffle: Serving a right man with the best house-jelly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TANKERx
My house-jelly was nearing perfection when I decided that I had to evaluate the inverted moulding iron.

[SNIP]

I took the opportunity to remove the badgers and foxes that had moved into the seat of my trousers and put them on.
Nice one Tankerx, very good, but 1 part did confuse me ever so slightly. In the above line, when you say I put them on, were you talking about the trousers or the badgers & foxes?

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Old 14-08-2002, 09:58 AM
Zuber Zuber is offline
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I'm confused, I tried reading it back to front, eyes squinted, and standing on my head. Tried PGP and a few other programs but I just couldn't unscramble the message. Someone (NOT TANKER ) please explain.

Zuber

  #7  
Old 14-08-2002, 12:29 PM
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I just didn't try to understand. A lost cause for one, who doesn't know English to the fullest.
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