I don't know about you, but Steve's recent head to head challenge of real world tasks left me rather cold. I don't buy my gadgets to do practical things like make calendar appointments, send photos by email, or even talk to other people. I want my phone to be the ultimate gadget, doing all the things important in my life. So I asked Rafe if I could do a comparison article as well, with categories relevant to people who 'really' use these phones. Luckily for me Rafe wasn't really paying attention when I mentioned the metrics I was going to use...
So, what devices are going to be head to head? Well, as in Steve's test, the Nokia N95 (in my case the 8GB version) is going to be the old wizened contender, taking on the Rocky Balboa of the iPhone 3G. A plucky third place will be made up not by the HTC Diamond, but the AT&T Tilt, the branded version of Windows Mobile 6 with a keyboard that I just happen to have lying around the office.
Points are available as 20-15-10 in placement judged categories, with other categories having their score based on the specific task in hand.
1. How many digestive biscuits can you balance on it?
Nokia N95 8GB: A pretty average result for Nokia here; for all the talk of extra storage compared to the original N95, the 8GB offered no extra capacity for my tower of Chocolate Digestives. A little more than a full packet were stacked before gravity took over. Score: 14 points (for almost one and a half packets)
Apple iPhone 3G: Now this is more like it. Thanks to the massive screen, an interlocking tower built of three columns could be balanced. By starting out wide and tapering the stack 'in' slightly on each new level, gravity helps the construction rather than fights it. A towering calorific burn of four packets before it all went horribly wrong. Score: 30 points
AT&T Tilt: Tough one this, as the mode changing means that while the available foundation is half way between the other two devices, the second you start to open the Tilt all the biscuits are pitched into your lap. And thanks to the black finish absorbing the most sunlight, the chocolate started to melt on my kilt. Not good. Score: 8 points.
2. Which device name is the best in a game of Scrabble?
All words checked in OSW - the big book of Official Scrabble Words (no cheating here). The AT&T Tilt doesn't perform well here, scoring a rather meagre 6 points with ‘TILT' for four and ‘AT' for two.
The Apple iPhone 3G scores a little bit better, ‘APPLE' is worth 9 points, thanks to the double P.
But it's clear that the Nokia N95 8GB is the runaway winner with points for EN (an old printing measurement, worth 2 points) NINETY (9) FIVE (7) and EIGHT (9) for a combined score of 27.
3. How many sides does it balance on?
Nokia N95 8GB: The all round performer proves it works all the way around. You can balance the handset on six of the six available sides. Score: 6 points.
Apple iPhone 3G: For all the sleek design and curves, they didn't think about keeping this stable. Just the front and back of the iPhone are available for staying on the table without falling. Score 2 points
AT&T Tilt: Closed, the Tilt performs well, with four sides available to balance on (the short edges have a little too much curve on them to be stable), albeit getting the long edge to balance takes a steady hand (not easy after the SNP winning a by-election in Glasgow, I can tell you). But once you open up the keyboard you get another six sides available. So a mighty ten sides for AT&T and HTC: Score: 10 points.
4. Appearances in movies as a dastardly terrorist device
Nokia N95 8GB: You know, I can't find any. Back in the days of Psion, when Steve Litchfield and I went to the pictures [not together - Ed adding hastily], the Series 3a was sitting on the desk stand in Richard Gere's apartment in Pretty Woman, a pair of 3a's acted as the timer and wireless remote detonator for the aircraft bomb in Executive Decision, and no British Comedy would be complete without a PDA joke (cf Shooting Fish). Now Nokia have to resort to giving The Dark Knight a fake Nokia that looks cool, because their regular models won't do. Score: 0 points.
Apple iPhone 3G: A clear win for the modern day iPhone, not because of the number of appearances (how dare you measure an Apple device against something so obvious as a countable metric) but because of its recent appearance in Joss Weddon's cult Internet film "Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog" , running the Horrible Van Remote application. Score: 0 points (because crime doesn't pay).
AT&T Tilt: I'm sure there must be some films, probably with Jean Claude Van Damme that have the Tilt as the Virus Initiation Adding Genetic Resistance Activator delivery system, but like a good terrorist device, you can't identify the supplier. Not that you always can anyway, with Windows Mobile... Score: 0 points (because we're not sure if it has been used or not).
5. How well can your kids hide it from you?
Nokia N95 8GB: Not very well to be honest. It has my SIM card in it, and I've had the same number for over 10 years. I can just ring the number from memory from the house phone and listen for Crazy Frog's version of the Doctor Who theme tune. Once they learn to mute the device though, it's going to be a little more tricky. Score: 10 points
Apple iPhone 3G: Given that Apple are doing a sterling job of hiding it from everyone trying to buy the phone, and that O2 (in the UK) are doing their best to hide the activation of the device (required for a valid contest), my kids don't have to break a sweat to hide a non-existent device. Market forces have hidden it well enough already. Score: 15 points.
AT&T Tilt: It's an American phone, on a frequency that doesn't work in my house, with the volume switched off, and it's the same shade of black as play-doh. Damn, this is tough. Back in a few... Score: 20 points.
How well can you install Linux operating systems, and does it play nice with the Open Source movement?
Nokia N95 8GB: Ask us again in two years, because we'll be able to show you everything then. If you're reading this in 2010, it'll still be two years, by the way. Honestly. We really mean it. So if you could just hold on, we'll see you get sorted. And it's probably a bad idea to go changing the OS - don't you know how advanced Symbian is? Why would you want to change it? Score: 7 points.
Apple iPhone 3G: Incredibly easy to install Linux - just press update firmware and the Linux-based OSX will get the most current version. No need to install and fiddle when it's already there (OK, so it's really Unix, but close enough). As to open source, err... Score: 5 points.
AT&T Tilt: Most likely to win this race, given that a variant of Xandros has been ported to the HTC Blue Angel device. The technology is there, and the will of the people to lose Windows as soon as possible puts the Tilt in first place. Score: 10 points
Which device most reminds me of master hypnotist Derrin Brown?
A simple test here. I decided how much (out of twenty) I want to own the device. I'll stare at the device for 60 seconds, and score it out of twenty. The difference is the final score.
Nokia N95 8GB: Before: 13. After: 18 Score: 5 points
Apple iPhone 3G: Before: 7. After: 20 Score: 13 points
AT&T Tilt: Before: 5. After: 15 Score: 10 points
Does it help me win friends and influence people (Does it make me look cool in a bar?)
Nokia N95 8GB: Do you live in Finland? Because it's not cool there (it's freezing cold! - Ed). Anyway the point is, in Finland, everyone had this phone - last year. This year's model, the N96, is the device to have. To be seen with last year's model is bad form. Everywhere else in the world though sees another boring Nokia phone. It gets the job done, and as such it's not going to harm your chances in the friends department. And for a geeky mobile phone, that's probably the best answer you can hope for. Score: 15 pints of cool refreshing Fosters.
Apple iPhone 3G: It all comes down to how you define cool. After all, the only reason the Fonz was cool was because he hung around with geeks, abused a jukebox, and always asked for "Just One More Thing" from all the girls. So it's not cool at all, just a little creepy unless the iPhone is in its own circle of friends. Score: 10 pints of tepid Budweiser.
AT&T Tilt: The slide to uncover the keyboard gets everyone's attention. Tilting the screen up and making a usable (teeny tiny) laptop like device makes their jaw hit the floor. For sheer transformative ability, the Tilt does incredibly well when you're around normal people. Yes, this is a cool device, even if the geeks turn up their noses at it. Score: 20 pints of Orkney Dark Island.
Which device do you want to win?
Nokia N95 8GB: Yes. Score: 1,000,000 points.
Apple iPhone 3G: No. Score: 0 points.
AT&T Tilt: No. Score 0 points.
Final Scores and Summary
In a close fought contest, both the AT&T Tilt and the Apple iPhone 3G ended up with 84 points. Slightly ahead, on 1,000,084 points is the Nokia N95 8GB. Each phone has areas where they are strong (the AT&T Tilt can balance on more sides than any other phone I've seen) and if they match up with what you want in a phone, then you should weight those areas strongly. Perceptions can play a large part in deciding on your device, the so-called 'Halo of Jobs' around anything from Apple being a good example.
The bottom line is that no matter what you read on the Internet, there's no such thing as a fair test. The second a reviewer picks up a device they're going to draw assumptions and decide for themselves which device they like. Sure we can step back and make them as objective as possible, but as Steve proved earlier in the week (and as sure as heck was proved in the deluge of comments that followed), you can't satisfy all the people all the time. There will always be something that people who prefer device A over device B will point to and complain about. By all means read up about the latest phones, software and hardware. Ultimately the decision is your own.
But the iPhone sure can carry a lot of biscuits.
-- Ewan Spence